Flora First Christian Church - Flora, IN

Nov. 18, 2007

Luke 15: 11–32

The Thanksgiving Divorce

It was the day before Thanksgiving. A man in Phoenix called his son in New York and said, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. After forty-five years of marriage, we decided that enough is enough.” The son screamed, “Pop, what are you talking about?” The father replied: “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
In a panic, the son called his older sister. She exploded, “No way I’ll let them do that to each other! I’ll take care of this!”
She called Phoenix immediately, and screamed at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” The daughter hung up.
The man hung up his phone and turned to his wife. “Okay, it worked. They’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.” Can you believe that those parents lied like that? I guess some people will do anything to have everyone together at Thanksgiving.

Let’s face it. There are Thanksgiving Tables that will have empty chairs, and that can hurt loved ones deeply. Some will have empty places by death, some by miles, and some by conflict. Some, like the dad in Phoenix, will try any way they can to get family members to the table. Some persons will try hard to no avail.

Scripture Reading About Gratitude

Our scripture this morning was a familiar passage, and a favorite to many. It was a story of an empty chair at a table of Thanksgiving. It hurt the Dad that one of the chairs was empty.

Others didn’t really care, and thought “good riddance.” You know the story of the prodigal son? Allow me to refresh your memory.

A man had two sons, and the youngest one didn’t want to spend the rest of his life “down on the farm”. He wanted to “live it up,” and to see the world. He wanted “wine, women and song”. He couldn’t wait. So, he asked for the money that he would receive when his father died.

It was surprising, but the father gave the son the money. The son moved out of the country. He became a playboy, and quickly spent all his money on wine, women and song. Then the money ran out. And so did his so-called “friends.” The only job he could find was working on a pig farm.

This was Palestine 2000 years ago, but it could easily be Carroll or Howard County in 2007 A.D. That young man was SO hungry he considered eating the pig’s slop. However, he decided that he’d return home, apologize to his dad, and ask for a job as one of his dad’s hired hands. He was taking a big risk. What if his dad rejected him?

He was almost home when his father saw him coming down the road. The father ran to his son, and welcomed him home. The son was grateful - he had made so many poor choices, and still his dad accepted him. The dad is overjoyed to have his son back safe and sound. Others in the story had very different feelings.

Preacher & “The Way It Should Be”

This is a true story. A number of years ago, a minister preached on the Prodigal Son, and he wanted to see if his congregation was listening. He told the story correctly, until he got to the part of the celebration. Then he said, “When the father saw his younger son coming down the road toward home, broke and defeated, the father said to the servant. “Go and kill the fatted calf, and prepare a feast for the older brother. He stayed here and did the right thing! And we need to teach my younger son a lesson!” The minister paused a few seconds for effect. A woman on the front row said in a loud voice: “That’s not the way the story goes, but that’s the way it should have been!”

Well, that’s the way a lot of us believe Jesus should have ended his story. That’s also the way many of us often feel—“you break the rules, you lose - zero tolerance and no forgiveness!

The dad’s confused son was home safe and sound. The dad threw a thanksgiving feast, and every chair at the dinner table was filled . . . except one. It was the chair right next to the younger son in his brand new clothes. The empty chair belonged to the older brother.

The older brother thought the situation was unfair! Why should he take part? There was no reason to go inside. He had lived by the rules, and stayed clear of trouble. There could not be a reason for this thanksgiving feast, and he would not be a part of it!

Then something happened. The Dad realized his older son was missing, and he went to urge his son to join them at the table. The son listened to his Dad’s pleading, and it was just too much for him to bear. Like a flood dam that gave way, the older son broke loose with the great resentment he had held in.

The son resented his Dad for not giving HIM a feast! He was the faithful one - the hard worker! The father made it clear to his son how appreciative he was for him always having been there. That son had every reason to be thankful! The guy was blessed, but didn’t even know it. He should have praised God that he made good choices. He never experienced the hardship his younger brother did.

Underlying Question

Here’s the underlying question for all of us - HOW CAN A BLESSED PERSON BECOME SO EXTREMELY UNGRATEFUL? If anyone should have been absolutely content, shouldn’t it have been the older brother?

Let’s look at the interchange between father and older son. We discover in the son a heart plagued with thanklessness. What causes that? How do we turn out to be thankless?

The older brother blurted out: “I worked my fingers to the bone all of these years for you…I never wandered off …and yet you never gave me even a scrawny goat for a simply BBQ with my friends.” (vs.29)

A Heart Plagued With Thanklessness.

This statement uncovers many of the reasons this brother lacked joy. He had a performance driven personality:

1. The older brother marked time. “I’ve been here all the time.”
2. The older brother tracked his brother’s mistakes. He probably had a list detailing the shenanigans that his brother pulled before he left.
3. The older brother felt entitled. “I deserved recognition, and you gave that lazy bother of mine a thanksgiving feast!”

When we allow ourselves to be filled with a sense of entitlement, there’s no way gratitude and thanksgiving can settle into our hearts. Our spirits are consumed with what we don’t have, instead of what we DO have.

The Older Son was Possessions Sighted

The father reminded his older son, “All that I have is yours.” He never saw what the father had as already his. That son had become possession-sighted.
To big brother it wasn’t about his younger brother who messed up big time, who nearly starved to death, who was home safe and sound—it was about things.

The younger brother learned about true riches out of his poor decisions which brought him poverty. He knew the mistakes he made. He didn’t ask his father to give him back every thing he lost. He was willing to come home and start at the bottom.

Relationally Distant

The older brother had a thankless heart because he was relationally distant. The father however, knew a thing or two about relationships.
To his dad, the older brother described his younger brother as “This son of yours.” His father replied, “Son, you are always with me, and he’s your brother.”

Big Brother took what he had for granted. He lived on his father’s farm, but failed to learn his father’s heart. He could not understand his father’s nature: to love, to forgive and to tend to His children’s needs. Because his heart was relationally distant he could not share in the father’s joy.

Dad Went to His Son

The Father had two sons, and noticed that one was missing from his Table of celebration, and he invited him back. Is there someone missing that God would have us bring back to the family, and to give thanks that they have been kept safe? Is there someone we need to run to whom we have offended?

Reaching Out in Reconcilation

Marsha Eckert shared recently at the Sunday evening Bible study that she had a phone call from a former student she taught 22 years ago. I asked Marsha if I could share this. After cordial chit-chat, the man apologized for the way he acted as a student. Marsha didn’t remember the episode, but realized that it had been on his mind a long time, and it was important to him. For some reason he found it necessary to “leave the Table” and take care of matters. My hunch is the Holy Spirit is working in that man’s life.
In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said: “If you are offering your gift to God at the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there and first go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matt. 5: 23-24)

I believe Jesus would say: If you’re about to offer your thanks for all the good gifts God has given you, and there is someone who is separated from the feast, leave and be reconciled.

At Your Thanksgiving Table

The heart of real thankfulness is about relationships: beginning with the One who is the giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). We’ve been on the outside of relationships like the younger son. Through Jesus Christ, God brings us to the inside—to the celebration feast—to the Thanksgiving Table with open arms.

This Thursday I want you to set an extra plate at the Table for your Thanksgiving dinner. When your children or relatives make the comment—“you set one too many places,” you will be able to say, “Oh no, that’s a reminder that Christ our Lord who is present. All of our gifts come from God the Father through Him into our lives and really we’re His guests.” An opportunity has been provided to begin a conversation of what those gifts of the past year has been.

Another Thanksgiving Table

Our true Thanksgiving dinner must begin at another table, our Lord’s Table, if it is to come out of the very core of our being. It’s more than appropriate - it is spiritual that we begin our Thanksgiving holiday week at our Lord’s Table.
At the Lord’s Table we see clearly the price that was paid - that we become found by God and be brought to His Thanksgiving Table. In some churches the word Eucharist is used for the words Communion or The Lord’s Supper. And the word Eucharist simply means “Feast of Thanksgiving.” This is the table were we give thanks to God of the ultimate gift of life that never ends. At this Table we give thanks that nothing can separate us from God, nothing but our own decision. In Jesus Christ, each of us can say—“I was lost, but now I’m found.” The invitation to this Table comes from Christ himself, to all who love Him, to all who have received Him, to all who would feast with Him with a thankful heart. Amen!